Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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