A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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Dislike this.

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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Nickelback

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Will nearis is here! Get it

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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