A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops