-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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