Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Why do i have no likes? Because im disliked...

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops