How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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