Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Female rights.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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i dont fisish anythi

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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knock knock? Whos there? a questionable person. What? exactly.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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