A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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