Knock, Knock No one was home.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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Roses are red viloets are blue mw3 sucks and bf3 is good

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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