What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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