A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

no

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

Ben Corbishley

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

Who wants water? I do.

What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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