Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops