Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Stealth baseballs record

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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