Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the one man say to the other man? What? I don't know , I wasn't there, that's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops