What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Actually it was me Josh brown

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You'er moma is so stupied that she climbed over the glass window to see what on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is short and yellow? Most Asians

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops