Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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