So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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The Morman Religion.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops