Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops