Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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sharks

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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Womens basketball

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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