How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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kcuf read it backwards

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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Koalas mum is a slut

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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Im batman...suck it losers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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