If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Wolfjob.

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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