A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Homonyms should be band.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Reading books

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops