Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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