What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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asdf

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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