What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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