What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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