How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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How do you make a car? You build it.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

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What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops