What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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what do you call a black clerk? one of the 2 billion people with a job, u bum!

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops