a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Yanter, Look it up

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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a man makes a bad joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops