A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

Were can you find a bag of meth?

why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...