What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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Jesus walks into a church only to be touched inappropriately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops