What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops