Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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the story of the two kings, bourne and brendan They were numbercrunching hardcore one night in the hills of arathi basin when the mailbrethren gave them a message from the almighty rogue of orgimar. This rogue challenged the two kings, codenames as follows: bourne (hunt cair) and brendan (worgensRsick). obviously bourne was a ret pally and brendan was a holy priest, representing the alliance faction because they dont belive in the corrupt (actual quote from J3b, "the kitty slayer tauren"). The duel would take place in the arena of hyjal, a place where heat blows from below, and sucks hard. Hyjal was once a place where the almighty druids had meetings of total epicness and made love in the flowers. Of course, taurens were very attracted to the mentally ill cows, and created j3b's character, foulmeat. When the two kings arrived, the rogue was actually in stealth, a goblin subtley rogue of vast strength and agil. His resil rating was at an astonishing 89k rating. He made n00bs spooge over their keyboards. The epic duel began when the rogue sapped both kings and ambushed bourne. Bourne legacy was hurt badly and had 15% health. Brendan's step brother came in and surprised attacked the rogue and took him to half health. his name was dalyquestsbedone. But all of a sudden, the world of azeroth was sucked in by the depths of the maelastrom of deathwing, and everyone died. All the players relogged and did it all over again. ˜´??

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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