what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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ded on boomer and aodddan

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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