There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Your Mom

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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wanna here a good joke? me too.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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