knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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Justin Bieber.

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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