A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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penis haha

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops