Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops