Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops