A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Poop!!

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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willie revilame

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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