Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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