If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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poop

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops