roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Laugh

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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Moooo

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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give me a thumbs up

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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