A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...