Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Gay's

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops