So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Tucker Rivera

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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