What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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your social life.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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I like U.............................nicorns :D

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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I am very humble.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops