Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Do you know what's funny? 9/11

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

What comes after 69? mouthwash

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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