How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Hitler and Jews become friends.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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