What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

Three baby seals walk into a club...

Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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