ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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John Cena

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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42

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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