a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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balls

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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42

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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