Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

i find your gravy quite lumpy.

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

what do you call a professional gamer Their name

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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