What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

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The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Yo mamas so fat that when a bus hit her she said " who threw that pebble at me"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

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roses are red violets are blue

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops